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*How to communicate with your spouse when your Total Opposites*

*How to communicate with your spouse when your Total Opposites*

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My husband and I are pretty much total opposites. Most of the time it’s fun, funny and creative but sometimes (we both being stubborn) tend to knock heads. We try to communicate in an effective way without hurting each other, bringing up the past or being mean. We decided to share some of our marriage secrets, please read the list below and use these communication skills to strengthen your marriage. If you have any suggestions, questions or ideas, please leave a comment below.

 

  1. Use your spouse’s difference (in a positive way)

My husband is a HVAC/R Technician; I’m a Mental Health Councilor. As you can imagine that can be difficult, but we have learned that working in 2 completely different fields makes us equipped to work in our individual field. At times the best advice that I receive is not from other clinicians or therapists it’s from my husband. Since he does not work in my profession his perspective is exactly what I need. I have learned that my husband processes things in more of a quantities matter versus myself who uses more of an emotional/therapeutic approach. At times my husband asks me advice from a therapeutic point of view it’s a win/win.

 

  1. Shift the Scales to equal weight

My husband is thrifty and I’m a spender, but I’m thrifty I coupon, thrift and purchase sales and clearance item. In the beginning of our marriage my husband did not like me spending so much and shopping all of the time. But my husband realized that since I’m a good shopper and thrifty I’m actually not spending more money, but I do purchase more items for fewer prices. What my husband initially thought was a negative with the right encouragement and support has been a blessing. My husband enjoys the best of both world, less spending and more items, especially when I buy his favorite brand name sneakers or that video game on sale. When were open to work with what we thought was a weakness in our spouse these are supported and become strengths.

 

  1. I’m NOT understanding, what you’re saying

Being opposites the day will come when you’re just going to disagree 100%. And that’s okay; I’ve learned that there are some subjects that my husband and I are speaking 2 different languages. In the beginning it was difficult and we argued a lot. Soon we learned that it’s ok to just let it go, some things I do he just does not understand but he respects my feelings and thoughts. The key to being okay with not understanding your spouse is that it won’t be a big thing. We need to let go of some of our customs, pet peeves or likes and dislikes. At the end of the day my husband and I share the same life goals, religion, belief, life style and are committed to God and each other.

No one ever has said that marriage is perfect. Marriage is a daily job, it takes time, work, prayer, effort and understanding. My husband shared this thought with me and it might sound funny but it makes total sense. Marriage is like lasagna you need to place one layer at a time, and according to him the more ricotta and cheese you add the better it tastes. Marriage is the same we all have the meat as the main ingredient, but when we add the cheese, ricotta, spices, flavors and salt this makes the difference, between a good lasagna and a FABULOUS lasagna. 

I pray that God may bless your marriage, learn to love the differences in your spouse, these are the same attributes that attracted to you him/her. Spice it up, take it one day at a time and enjoy a big slice of LIFE!

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